Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Men!!

What is up with men these days? Where are the good ones? Let me give you a little background... I had recently deleted all of my online dating site profiles and had decided to leave things in The Lord's hands. I figured that if He wanted me to find someone to be with as a life partner, then He would see that our paths crossed. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I get a message from Ollie636 off of PlentyOfFish.com. I had forgotten that I even had a profile there and hadn't deleted it. No picture on his profile but that was ok. We exchange a few messages thre and it leads to texting and calling each other, just for ease of conversation. Then, he starts pushing things. Dropping little hints; for example, I was trying to get off the phone one night and told him that I needed to get ready for bed. He made the comment, "I am already in bed. And I'm naked. What do you think about that?" I replied that it was his house and he could do what he wanted but I didn't necessarily need to know that he was naked. He turned pouty and started asking things like "What, don't you want to see? Aren't you wondering what 'it' looks like?" I promptly told him that NO, I wasn't curious about it and for him to "have fun" and I hung up the phone. Two days later he sends me a text message apologizing for what he said and asking me to talk to him. I told him that I didn't appreciate things like that and he said it wouldn't happen again. Time rolls on and things start getting weird again. He sends "good morning" texts and if I don't respond, he will send "I'm thinking about you". If I still don't respond then he sends a text around lunch. He will send things like "u tired of me?"; "don't you want to talk to me?"; "U don't like me anymore"; "Y don't you like me?"; and that kind of thing. Then he calls. He has asked me to "talk dirty to him", which I am not comfortable doing with someone that I have never met in person, or to send him "hot" pictures of myself. I put my foot down and told him that if he couldn't keep his conversations at a g-rated level, then he needed to find someone else to bother. I hear nothing for a coupld of days and then he texted me last night. I was driving and really couldn't talk or text at the time. He asked if I was tired of him. I replied that I was just tired, and that I was driving. His response was "call". 10 minutes later, he sends "u not want to talk?" I was still driving so I didn't respond. 5 minutes later he sends "Hey???" I still didn't respond. I got a text similar to those for the next five minutes - about one per minute. Finally, my daughter grabbed my phone and sent this message. "Heyy...look my mother is driving and she can not talk at the present moment... so please leave her the hell alone for the next 45 minutes so that we may get home safely.. thank you and have a nice day!!" He responded "Well, OK??" She sent to him "This is her daughter by the way.. didn't mean to be mean its just I'd rather get home safely." I got a "good morning" this morning but haven't responded. Is it just me or does this come across as manipulative and controlling and just plain needy? I don't need this kind of crap in my life. This is why I ask where all the good men have gone. The ones that know how to romance a woman, how to court a woman, how to be independent and not have to know where you are every second of every day. I am of the opinion that they are few and far between though.

5 comments:

  1. Manipulative? No.
    Needy, perhaps... or just insecure...
    Controlling... debatable. Pushy is probably a better word to use.

    He sounds like a creepy from the sex stuff, especially if you were not flirting or giving any indication you wanted to go "there" with him. Seems a little forward, if you are not responding similarly, and in fact, since you made it clear you didn't appreciate it and he continued, I'd say he has one thing only on his mind.

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  2. I wasn't flirting or giving any indication that I wanted to go there. Pushy is a very good word for him.. It just felt like he wanted to know where I was every second and if I didn't respond immediately, he took it as a personal affront. Kind of weird if you ask me, especially as we haven't met in person yet. And we are never going to. If he is like this via a text/phone "relationship" I don't want to know what he would be like in a real-time, face-to-face one!

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    1. Personal information such as phone numbers should not be given out until there has been an actual date. Online dating is not always a great thing. A lot of predators are on these sites. If a man will not give you a photo but expect you to talk to him outside of the site, that is not a good idea, either. Too many of these men are looking for "cyber-love." Forget 2nd chances. If a man violates your boundaries once, he will do it again. Meeting a good man is not easy. Perhaps, take time for yourself.

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  4. Your daughter getting involved with sending text messages to a man whom you are talking to is not the wisest thing, either. Children should be shielded from a man until the mother is serious about him. The girl as a part of this text exchange is more than inappropriate.

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